


Too Alive For Comfort

by HeereandThere



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Alternate Universe - Robots & Androids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2019-12-30 18:14:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18320627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeereandThere/pseuds/HeereandThere
Summary: WARNINGS: Weaponry Mention; Stabbing/Cutting (Another Person); Ownership of Humanoid Robot in the Sense That They're Nothing More Than Merchandise; Panic AttackOne very well-known rule of androids is that they're not supposed to think or feel; they're destined to be little more than machines, tools and playthings at mankind's disposal.Therefore, it winds up being quite a surprise for Mr. Paul Heere's android, Jeremy, when an uncharacteristic panic attack infects his mind.





	Too Alive For Comfort

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, so I'm actually in love with the short "Kara" and the concept of androids being alive and having emotions and shit, so take this. UwU It's sort of a DBH AU, but sort of not.

_"Paul, I can't breathe!"_

All it had taken was one simple sentence to completely destroy Jeremy's life. Given, this was followed by several other statements that garnered suspicion, but it was this that set the decimation of his days into motion. The look on Paul's face said it all, his typically sorrowful eyes filled with surprise and borderline terror. The android's benevolent owner had difficulty responding to such an odd concern; it took him a moment of wallowing in Jeremy's confusion as he held back, afraid.

_"You've never been able to breathe..."_

It hit Jeremy like a ton of bricks that the man was, in fact, correct. Yet, the building pressure in his chest and head was unmistakablely real, and it endowed him with the illusion that his noexistant breathing was constricted; his mechanical body ached for air, and the less of it he felt like he was receiving, the more overwhelmed he got. He desired to assume that it was just his processors overheating, as catastrophic as that could have been, but there was something about this whole ordeal that felt like so much more than technological failure.

The symptoms of this occurrence were alarmingly similar to the panic attacks Jeremy had aided Paul through before.

_ "Paul, I don't- I can't- I don't understand-" _

All Jeremy had been doing when this event was triggered was straightening up the house. His task was reorganizing the books and magazines set on the coffee table in the living room, though when he noticed a picture hung askew on the wall, he took the initiative to fix the imperfection. However, he had failed to realize that it was hung on a wall hook that was suffering from failing strength, and when he thought it was in a good enough position to let go, the frame came crashing to the ground and the glass that encased the photograph shattered. Paul had never been a vengeful person, but when Jeremy realized that the photo contained the wife and son his owner had long lost, an ungodly and unfamiliar fear gripped him, a variety of potential consequences and turmoil crossing his mind.

Jeremy would have been lying if he said this was the first time non-preprogrammed thoughts and feelings took him, but it was never anything at this level. It had always been something small, like the urge to laugh at a joke on the television or the brief consideration of a life beyond being a servant, but these were always things he worked so diligently to repress, especially because he knew this type of mental activity was grounds for deactivation. But, that incident had opened the floodgates for something Jeremy had never bothered trying to understand, and he was already in tears and hyperventilating right in front of Paul, meaning this uncharacteristic meltdown wasn't something that could be written off.

_ "Hey, ssshhh. Focus on me. Look at me, Jeremy." _

Paul's voice was firm as he set his hand down on Jeremy's leg, a sign of gentle companionship. There was no telling what this situation would entail, but a panicking android was not ideal for problem-solving.

_"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry-"_

Jeremy's voice crackled with an emotion beyond his programming, which only caused this newfound anxiety to flare up even further. For some reason, he couldn't bring himself to cease the incessant quivering that rocked his limbs; he had never felt so shaken, so bothered, so...

So afraid.

Good God, he was afraid.

_ "You don't need to apologize, Jeremy, it's okay-" _

_ "IT'S NOT OKAY." _

The house fell silent, and a long beat of quiet passed between the only two men home at the time. Jeremy covered his mouth with both hands and a pall crossed over Paul; not once, in the year Jeremy had been an android of the Heere household, had he ever lashed out so. He had always been so quiet and complacent and even if he did have misgivings, he had formed a habit of keeping them to himself. But, now, with the tearducts in full throttle and his tolerance for stress at an all-time low, Jeremy did not take much care being polite.

_ "It's not fucking okay, because I broke the picture frame like a fucking idiot and now I'm freaking out and I don't understand why and I'm going to get shut down because I'm not supposed to do this and Jesus Christ, Paul, I'm not ready to die I'm just not ready and I've never felt like that before and-" _

_"Jeremy!"_

The firmness in his owner's voice made Jeremy freeze as the other's hands wrapped tightly around his shoulders.

_"You're not gonna die. Not if I have anything to say about it."_

And just like that, Paul was off, and Jeremy was left alone, sitting on the floor in a pile of broken glass. He relinquished a shuddering sob and hugged himself like some sort of lonely child; this anxiety that racked through him was a horrible way to feel. He just didn't understand how humans dealt with emotions, or how he was supposed to deal with them with absolutely no prior experience. He prayed there was something different on the horizon or even a return to his natural apathy, but in that moment, he was struggling.

With a speedy motivation Jeremy had never know him to have, Paul came back from his destination upstairs wielding a suitcase, a few pieces of clothing, and something else that Jeremy couldn't quite make out. He handed Jeremy the clothes, and the android examined them with a wariness; among the store was a blue cardigan, a striped t-shirt with the most obnoxious color scheme, jeans, Converse shoes, and a pair of thinly framed glasses that had been tucked in with the others. He looked inquisitively up at Paul, who wore as warm a smile as he could muster.

_"Put those on for me, okay? I'll take care of your uniform."_

_"But I'm not suppo-"_

_ "Don't worry about following the rules right now." _

Jeremy shut his mouth tight and nodded quickly without another word, immediately going to work at trading out his factory-designated uniform for the items he had been handed as Paul turned a blind eye. It made him beyond uncomfortable, shedding a skin he had known for so long, and the new outfit felt alien; the cardigan was designed more for comfort than the functionality he had become accustomed to, and the prospect of having the glasses on his face 24/7 filled him with dread.

Dread. Another bad emotion. How did Paul do it?

_"Is that good? Sorry the shirt's a little big; it was Will's. He was a bit taller than you are."_

Jeremy wrung his hands. This didn't make him feel a whole lot better, but it provided some sort of outlet for the thoughts and feelings reeling through his mind.

_"They're okay. They're good._ "

_"Good. Now, give me your arm."_

Unaware of what was to come, Jeremy obliged, and Paul pulled back the oversized cardigan sleeve. That's when Jeremy saw what he had hidden, and that's when he pulled away, that fear kicking back in.

_ "You have to trust me on this, Jeremy. Do you trust me?" _

The android stared precariously at the kitchen knife Paul carefully wielded before nodding pensively; he couldn't properly feel pain, but his sensors did go into full-on red alert when he was damaged and, after all, this day had been full of surprises. Still, Paul had treated him very well up until this juncture, and he had a difficult time believing that he would turn on him over this.

And so, Jeremy turned his right arm back over and instinctively winced when the blade sunk itself into his skin. Paul looked to be enjoying it about as much as he was, with a pained expression painted on his face, but the man persisted and cut as delicately as he could to avoid unnecessary damage. Less than pleased with his handiwork, he still reached into the artificial flesh and pulled out a miniscule device, which he promptly threw onto the floor and stepped on.

_ "What're you-" _

_ "It's a monitor. I remembered it from the owner's manual. It was made to track where you're at, along with your thoughts and stats and shit. You weren't supposed to know about it, but I guess rules and regulations are out the window." _

Paul reached down next to him and revealed bandages, which he wrapped around Jeremy's "wound" to temporarily patch it up.

_ "Can't have you prancing around town with a busted up arm. Unfortunately, there's not much I can do about it, but it can't hurt to cover it up." _

Once Paul was finished dressing the injury, Jeremy reeled back once more and held his arm tenderly; he had never been truly hurt before and, though he lacked the internal systems to feel pain, he abhorred the sensation it sent through his processors. As he focused on the pain-but-not-really-pain, the suitcase was slid next to him, as was a small slip of paper.

_ "I put some more of Will's clothes in there, because, human or not, running around in dirty clothes isn't pleasant, and I put some money in there to keep you set, too." _

Jeremy froze.

_"Why would I need extra clothes? And money?"_

Paul bit his lip and avoided eye contact as effectively as he could, but Jeremy's gaze bore into him and he felt compelled to return it.

_ "I'm gonna level with you here, kiddo. They don't take these things lightly; if they find out that an android's feeling things, real things, HUMAN things, the bot's done for. I wouldn't be surprised if they've already got someone on their way to investigate the outburst, and having you here is a death sentence. We have to pretend you never existed. I don't particularly WANT to, but I want you to go to the address I wrote down. I've known those people for a really long time and they have experience with these... problems, so I know they'll help you lie low for a while. I know it's sudden and I know it isn't gonna exactly be pleasant, but I want you to promise you'll go and won't draw any attention to yourself, okay?" _

Tears pricked at the corners of Jeremy's eyes once more and they threatened to fall, but he retained as steely a resolve as he could as he agreed to obey what could very well have been his final order from Mr. Heere. He took the case and the paper and shakily rose to his feet, still overwhelmed by the events of the afternoon, but this unsure footing didn't prevent him from taking Paul in an awkward, albeit heartwarming embrace. He was nothing more than a robot, and still this man had treated him pretty much like a son.

Paul returned the hug with no hesitation other than slight surprise, as this android had been something else, almost like the son he lost. Not a replacement, but something equally as great.

_"Thank you."_

Jeremy's final two words rang in the ears of everyone present, leaving a happy ending to be desired as he took one last look around the living room and walked out of the front door. The noisy city streets took over his senses in a matter of seconds, but he still pushed through the throngs of citizens, both human and android alike, in order to get through to his objective: a residential lot nestled in the suburbs several blocks away from his own home. Homesickness took him this time, a sensation he never believed he would harbor, as he typically would come and go as he pleased.

But, for now, as his mind reeled with thousands- even millions- of new thoughts for him to comprehend, he had to force himself to understand that the Mell household would have to do.

**Author's Note:**

> So, like I said, I'm digging the idea of BMC characters as androids because I'm a slut for AUs, and there's a chance I may revisit this in a later short story. I kind of want to explore Rich, Jake, and Michael's backstories, but I'll have to see where I'm planning on taking this. :O


End file.
